I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
