At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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