Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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