Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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