Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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