I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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