just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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