Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
