ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
