...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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