she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
