WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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