Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
