im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you traded sex for a burrito?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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