Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
3pm strippers are depressing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
