Sponge bath it is.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
