how can u be prego again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
