put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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