i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
