yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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