How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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