Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
