just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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