How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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