oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
