her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
