I need help removing her.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
