Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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