This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
