Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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