I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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