I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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