I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
