no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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