You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
