My friends, they love my intelligence
operation have a gay friend backfired
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
