I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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