Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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