yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
