Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize