I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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