Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
