ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
