Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
