so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
