You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Blood and glitter go together right?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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