yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
