Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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