I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Say something about gay babies.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
