cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
