Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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