Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
