He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
