matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
